Broken Wings: 11

Chapter 11

Aunt Nazatul sobbed harder as she finished telling the hurtful truth. I couldn’t bear watching her sad so shifted near her and hugged her tight. I could feel what she felt after all he went through. She really loves my mom so much.

As I was hugging her, my tears couldn’t stop flowing. Now that I learn the truth, I think what I need to do know is praying for my mom’s health. I need to get healthy fast since I am not feeling well since this evening.

Aunt Nazatul wiped her tears, saying sorry for disturbing me. I console her by saying it is okay to cry. I can be her shoulder to cry on. She excused herself after that for it was nearly midnight. I watched her leaving my room and I sighed heavily. When I’m completely healed, I need to do something important. I need to find my biological uncle, Uncle Azlan.

***

1981

Kalsom opened her bedroom window and feel the cool breeze of air. She could see the glimmering sea from her window. She smiled as the sun shining magnificently above her. Then she woke Merdu who was still having her wonderful dream.

“Wake up, Merdu. It’s nearly noon,” Kalsom shook her twin’s arm gently.

Merdu stirred and rubbed her sleepy eyes. “What time is it?” her voice croaked.

“10.15. A maiden shouldn’t wake up late, you know,” Kalsom giggled as she loved teasing Merdu.

Merdu slowly get up from bed and she threw her blanket playfully to Kalsom. Both of them laughed and Merdu grabbed her towel and went to the bathroom. Kalsom made Merdu’s bed and waited for her in the living room.

Both of them furthered their study in MARA Institute of Technology in Terengganu. It was located near the beach and both Kalsom and Merdu loved being here. They stayed in a wooden-like-house hostel which consisted of 15 students. Her housemates hailed from other states and all of them were very friendly and some were close to Kalsom and Merdu.

Merdu and Kalsom went to the library since it was weekend. They loved going to the library especially Kalsom for she loved reading very much. She could finish more than three novels in one week and she managed her time well – studying and enjoying herself with books.

They needed to finish their assignment and of course, library was the best place for them to search the information. There were only few people in the library during this hour and it was the perfect time for Kalsom to focus on her study. She needed a quiet place so she could concentrate. Unlike Merdu, she could study anywhere she liked but she always stick around with Kalsom during the weekend. She loved being in the library too but not as often as Kalsom.

Then Kalsom spotted a group of boys entering the library and sat not far from her table. She couldn’t care less about them but there’s one boy made her mood spoiled. He was in her lecture class and loved cracking jokes with his three friends. Kalsom didn’t like him because he’s a noisy person and talked big. And that made her feel annoyed.

“Merdu, I think I want to go back to the hostel,” said Kalsom, out of the blue.

“Why? Aren’t you feeling well? You look kind of sick,” asked Merdu worriedly.

“My stomach...it doesn’t feel so good,” Kalsom made her face looked like she got stomach-ache.

“Okay. Let’s go back,” said Merdu and both of them left the library. Merdu didn’t know that Kalsom was ‘allergic’ to that particular boy.

As both of them left, that boy took a glance at Kalsom coincidently. Then he spotted something fell down from Kalsom’s book. She wanted to call for her but she disappeared very fast. He picked up that thing and quickly put it in his pocket.

Dear diary,

Today is my rotten luck day! I saw Firdaus at the library this morning with his bunch of friends when Merdu and I were doing our assignment. I nearly finished the last part and those muttering idiots came and spoiled my study mood. It’s not like I hate them but I don’t like them that much, especially Firdaus because he’s lousy, noisy and annoying.

I never talked to him though but I don’t want to. Never. Except for some cases, perhaps. Thank God Merdu doesn’t know about this. She knows I’m not having a love-fest with any boys in this institute. Unlike some of our housemates who fall in love with other boys from other courses. They even went out for a date in the weekend, just like today!

Dating is not my style of life and I promised Mak and Ayah, and Kak Naz to study hard and get a flying colour result. That’s why Merdu and I are here. We’re not going to let any opportunity slips from out hand!

I need to finish my assignment by tonight even though Mr. Hakim wants us to submit the assignment in two weeks. When I have done my assignment, I can continue reading new books at the library. I saw some of new books on the shelves. I can’t wait to read all of them!

There’ll be a night market tomorrow evening and Merdu and I are planning to go there. It’s quite far and we need to get the van early. We love going to the night market for it has a variety of delicacies. I have few Ringgit left so I think I should sometimes spend them on food. My scholarship money is enough for this month since I don’t go out much. Abang Shah sometimes sends some extra money to us if he came visiting us here. Oh, I missed my family so much. Abang Shah is getting married soon and Merdu and I are glad to hear that. We can’t wait to know who our sister-in-law is!

It’s nearly midnight and I have to pen-off. Merdu is snoring soundly. She’s kind of tired because she played netball with our friends this evening. I’m not into netball so I just watched. I’ll write again tomorrow, my dearest diary.

Broken Wings: 10

Chapter 10

I closed the diary and sighed heavily. My eyes were strained because I hadn’t stopped reading for 3 hours. I’m going to get a headache after this. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was half past 8. I put the book on the small table beside my bed and ready for the Isya’ prayer. But I was stopped by the phone ring. I searched for my mobile phone on the bed. It was accidentally slipped under the pillow. The mobile phone was shrieking louder and louder. I looked the name on the screen before I picked the call. It was from my sister, Humaira.

“Hello,” I greeted after giving a salaam.

“Abang, are you home?” asked Humaira.

“Yes. Why?” I answered shortly.

“Aunt Naz wanted to spend her night at our house. Kak Yani will pick her up tomorrow,” said Humaira.

“Okay. You got the key with you, right? I’m going to perform Isya’ prayer and prepare dinner. What about Aswad?” I asked.

“He’s going to stay with Aunt Merdu. Mom is getting stable than last night,” I could hear a voice of relief from Humaira.

Praise to Allah that mother is going to be alright.

I hung up the call and quickly went to the bathroom. After performing Isya’ prayer, I went downstairs. I could hear voices in the kitchen. Humaira and Aunt Nazatul were here. We ate dinner together and Humaira couldn’t stop talking about mother’s health. I, on the other hand, was thinking about mother’s past.

What actually happened to her? Why her mother threw her away from her family? What is the dark secret that Aunt Nazatul knew?

“Abyadh,” called Aunt Nazatul while patting my arms gently. “What’s wrong?” she asked with a concern look on her face.

I cleared my throat two, three times. “I’m thinking about mom,” I replied.

“I know, dear. Everyone is worrying about her condition right now. But we have to continue praying for her,” she patted my arms.

I slowly nodded and continue eating. I really wanted to ask her about the secret but it’s not the right time. Humaira didn’t know about the diary. Maybe Aunt Nazatul knew and I needed to ask her after dinner. I have to wait for Humaira to go to bed first.

“Abang, you look pale. Are you alright?” asked Humaira and gently touched my hand. Then she put the back of her hand on my brow.

“I’m okay, Humaira. Don’t worry,” I forced a smile.

“No, you’re not. You body is a little bit warmer than usual. You need to rest, Abang,” she said, picking up her empty plate and asked me to finish my meal.

I gently pushed the plate aside. I couldn’t eat anymore. And she’s right. I didn’t feel so good. After dinner, Humaira urged me to go to bed early. She brought the medicine to my room. Lucky me, she didn’t notice the light blue diary on the small table.

“Don’t forget to eat this medicine, Abang,” she advised me. “Get well soon,” she kissed me on my left cheek and left the room.

I watched her leave and sighed. Few minutes later, Aunt Nazatul came in. I was leaning to the bed post, flipping the diary randomly. I greeted her and she sat on the bed next to me.

“You need to have a good rest, Abyadh. Your mother will be worried if she knew that you’re having a fever,” said Aunt Nazatul.

“I know,” I chuckled.

“What’s that book?” asked Nazatul with a frown on her face.

“This,” I showed her, “is mom’s diary.”

She was a little bit shocked seeing the diary which I was holding it.

“Where did you find it?” she gasped.

“In her room. I opened the little drawer beside her bed few days ago,” I replied and waited for Aunt Nazatul to speak.

“It’s her precious thing, Abyadh. She won’t let anyone to read it,” Aunt Nazatul looked me in the eyes.

Suddenly, I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. She told me once, a long time ago, that I shouldn’t open the drawer no matter what. And I broke that promise. But I needed to know about my mother’s life which had been a big mystery to me. I didn’t know whether Humaira and Aswad realized this but mother never once told her about her past.

“Aunt Naz,” I broke the silence, “can you tell me one thing?” I asked.

Aunt Naz stared at me.

“Can you please tell me the truth? What had happened to mom? Why your mother hated her so much?” I have to know the truth. This is the right time that I think I should know.

Aunt Naz put her trembling hand on mine. Then she squeezed them gently. I could saw her, trying to hold back the tears. The tears of guilt.

***

Nazatul tried to search for Karamah’s address for so many times but she failed to do so. She couldn’t remember the way to her aunt’s house. She wanted to take Kalsom back to her house. She wanted to tell her the truth. The truth that she heard in that horrible night.

Nazatul just received her MCE result that morning. She got 7A’s and she wanted to further her study in one of the local universities. She was happy and her parents gave her a special present for her; a pearl necklace. It was pretty and she thanked her parents gratefully. Azlan didn’t give her anything and she didn’t mind. She knew Azlan didn’t like to spend his money to buy things for his siblings.

Rohaya threw a great party for Nazatul and invited her rich friends, whose husband got the Datuk title. She bragged on how Nazatul passed her examination with flying colours. Nazatul didn’t like how her mother bragged upon her. She received some presents from her mother’s friends and they congratulated her. Some of her father’s business partners asked her which university she wanted to further her study. One of them even offered her to study at the overseas and he will sponsor her education fee for free.

She politely refused for her father’s friend offer because she wanted to further at the local university. After the party was over, she helped the maids to clear the food and dirty plates and glasses. Rohaya forbade her to do the work but she ignored her. She said that she wanted to help rather than sitting around doing nothing.

Rohaya agreed with her daughter’s decision and let her helped the maids. She went inside the house and joined her husband and her son, Azlan in the dining room where there were some leftovers from the party. Nazatul excused herself after washing the plates because she’s getting sleepy.

As she wanted to go to her room, she heard someone was laughing in the dining room. She slowly took a peep and saw her mother and Azlan were talking while eating the leftovers. No wonder Azlan is getting bigger and fatter, said Nazatul in her little heart.

“Ma, can I ask you something?” asked Azlan while munching the cake.

“Sure, dear. What is it?” smiled Rohaya.

“This question surely going to make you mad. But I really wanted to know.”

Rohaya nodded.

“Is it true that Kalsom not your daughter?”

Rohaya’s face changed a little and Azlan said that she didn’t need to answer the question.

“She’s my daughter, Azlan. My real daughter.”

Nazatul gasped in horror. Her mother was lying all this time.

“Really? Oh, this is frustrating! I hate her, you know! She’s such a spoiled brat and stubborn. And ugly too!” snorted Azlan.

“I hate her too. She used to be as smart as both of you but then as she befriended with that filthy farmer’s daughter, she’s getting dumber and dumber. And that girl was getting smarter. I heard that she was offered to further her secondary education in boarding school.”

“I think that filthy girl sucked her brain or something,” Azlan laughed. Rohaya joined her too.

“But that’s not the main reason. You should know, Azlan, that your sister was a murderer.”

Nazatul couldn’t believe what she’d heard. She nearly cried when she heard those words from her mother.

“A murderer? Seriously?” Azlan was taken aback by the news.

“Yes. She killed your paternal grandmother. Your late grandmother loved her very much and every time we took her there, she was the happiest person in the world. One day, she took Kalsom for a walk near the paddy-field. She took her favourite doll with her. She’s 7 at that time and loved that doll. She played around the paddy-field and slipped as the ground was wet. She dropped her doll as your grandmother pulled her back to the higher ground. She cried, wanting her doll back. Your grandmother then took the doll but the ground was slippery. Suddenly, a cobra appeared and bit your grandmother’s leg. She screamed in pain and she couldn’t be saved because the poison was spreading fast into her body. She died.

Your father and I blamed Kalsom for this. Because of her, your grandmother died. If she didn’t bring her doll, this thing won’t happen. But your grandfather and your aunt didn’t blame her. They said that Kalsom was still small and it was an accident. Your father didn’t talk to her much since then because he loved her late mother dearly. Kalsom didn’t say anything at that time, not even apologizing. And that’s why we hated her.”

Nazatul couldn’t stop crying after hearing the truth. She ran to her room quickly. She prayed to Allah that she wanted to meet Kalsom as soon as possible. She needed to tell Kalsom the truth. And she hated for what her mother did to Kalsom just because of her grandmother’s death.